Some people think creativity is only applicable to artists and musicians but everyone is creative.  It’s that aspect of us that finds a new way to solve a problem or has an idea.

We create our lives through our choices, decisions and actions.  When we really accept this, we become the power in our lives.  Yes events happen that are outside our control, but we create our response to those events and those responses create an impact.

The definition of crazy is; doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome”.  How can you use your creativity to design the change that makes your project succeed?

Think of a time when you were creative; perhaps when you implemented a great idea or you solved a problem.  As you relive that experience, ask yourself:

•  What was the motivator of your creativity?
• Before you even came up with the idea or solution, what did you believe about you?  What did you believe was possible?  How much time did you give yourself?  Did you ask for help?  If so, what was the response and what did you do with that?
• When you got the idea or the solution, what did that feel like?
• What did you do next?
• Did it work immediately or require further honing?
• When the idea/solution was fully operational, how good did that feel?  How did it change things for you?

Now review your project, is there anything in the above answers that you can use to keep you motivated and focused?

Does your project need any adjustment to accommodate your discoveries?

What could you do differently?

What have you achieved so far that warrants acknowledgment?

NOTE:  Over the years I set myself many goals, some happened quickly, some took years, and others haven’t materialized yet!  Often I doubted myself and the entire “goal setting strategy”.  This is what I’ve learned:

• Some goals I thought I wanted wouldn’t have been good for me, e.g. remember some of those relationships you thought you couldn’t live without!
• Some goals “failed” but once I accepted this outcome as “feedback” and I learnt what I needed to learn, the goal was modified accordingly and I achieved that goal.
• Some goals take time – a lot of time!  Why – because we aren’t ready for them yet!  This was my most important learning.  Divine timing not my timing!

 Always be compassionate.  Give thanks for your learning and all that you achieved today.

Thérèse Hackett, Ciúnas, 086 819 3005

Projects happen when; we feel positive about ourselves, have the desire, self-belief and focus, we notice our successes, we have positive expectation, we’re creative and we take action.

It doesn’t matter what our project is; lose weight, get a job, develop a new business strategy, get healthy or restart a halted project, the above remains true.

How do you get positive when you’re negative or you’ve been challenged?

If you’ve been challenged, identify; is the challenge of your own making or is it outside your control?  If you created the challenge then:

• Accept that you created it. STOP beating yourself up, be compassionate, this is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself.
• Review the decisions you made that created this challenge
• Identify what motivated those decisions?
• If you had the choice again, what new decisions would you make?
• How can you use this information to move forward?

If the challenge is outside your control, let it go.  Trying to control that which we have no control over leads to powerlessness.

Always ask yourself, what can I do right now/today?  Sometimes you can’t think of anything, then leave it for a while, do something different and see what pops into your head later.

Remember:  there’s no such thing as failure, it’s just feedback to learn from.

Get positive:

Take time to look at your life and notice all the really good stuff in it and the part you played in creating that stuff.

Notice what aspects of your life works really well – appreciate your success.

Identify what you really enjoy doing and how good you are at it.

• How do you do that, identify the steps involved?
• What skills do you employ when doing it?
• What do you believe about you as you do it?
• What motivates you to keep doing it?

Now review your project, is there anything in the above answers that you can use to keep you motivated and focused?

Does your project need any adjustment to accommodate your discoveries?

What could you do differently?

What have you achieved so far that warrants acknowledgment?

 (Next week, I discuss creativity in terms of delivering our projects.)

 Always be compassionate.  Give thanks for your learning and all that you achieved today.

Thérèse Hackett, Ciúnas, 086 819 3005

The Lonely Planet reckons “The Irish lack self-esteem”.  Kieran Behan (22), who was told “you’re never going to walk again let alone do gymnastics” qualified for the Olympics.  Why have I connected these two seemingly unrelated stories?

From my experience, people who lack self-esteem tend to say things like “Why bother”, “What’s the point”, “I can’t”, “I’m not able”, “It won’t work anyway”, “I’ll fail”, “I don’t deserve that”.    They don’t notice their daily successes and expect to fail.  Sometimes lack of self-esteem becomes an excuse for not even trying.

People like Kieran say “I want to”, “I deserve it”, “I’m worth the effort” “I believe I can”, “I can”, “I will”.  They work at their goal consistently and expect to achieve it eventually.  When challenged, they use that as feedback and learn from it.  They notice the daily successes and build on those.

To achieve results or deliver a project, you need Desire, Self-Belief, Focus, Positive Expectation and the “I can and I will Determination”.

How do people develop low self-esteem?  From my experience listening to people’s stories, one of the causes is consistent criticism that they eventually believe.  Note; two people involved, the criticizer and the person who believed it.

The kind of criticism that starts the process tends to be from people who we perceive as in authority and knowledgeable, for example, parents, teachers, managers.  It often starts in childhood but it can happen in adulthood too.

Have you ever said anything, when you’ve been frustrated or stressed, that you didn’t really mean?  How would you feel if the adult or child you said it too  believed it?

Much of the criticism that creates low self-esteem was said in frustration, stress, pressure or impatience.  Don’t let something said on a “bad day”, that you believed, be what stops you creating the life you desire.

Beliefs can be changed.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.   (Eleanor Roosevelt)

 If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing – you are right.   (Henry Ford)

Technique to challenge negative beliefs created as a result of criticism:

Find a quiet place, take a few deep breaths and either with your eyes opened or closed;

• Imagine watching a movie of your childhood and in particular a time when you were criticized.  Who is the person and what did he/she say?
• What age were you?  What was happening in your life at the time? What didn’t you understand?  What were you unable to express?
• What were you trying to do for you?  What decision did you make about yourself?
• As you watch this movie as an adult now, notice what was happening in that adult’s life at the time?  What was their pressure?  What was he / she trying to do for himself/herself?   How was the young you affecting him/her achieve that?
• If that younger you was in the room with you now, what would you say to help that younger you?  What would you do?
• How would that help the younger you in the movie?  What would the younger you now believe about himself/herself?
• How would that information help you in the present?
• What have you learned about you?  How can you use that information now to help you achieve your desire?

 Always be compassionate.

Give thanks for your learning and all that you achieved today.

Thérèse Hackett, Ciúnas, 086 819 3005

What’s the solution?

Review your day.  Acknowledge all you achieved today.

Identify the challenge that triggered the “bad day” feeling. If it was an interaction with someone try the following steps:

Find a quiet place, take a few deep breaths and either with your eyes opened or closed;

1. Imagine there is a movie screen in front of you.  On the screen watch the challenging interaction between you and the other person as if it was a movie.
2. Imagine stepping into the you in the movie and experience what it’s like interacting with this person?  What is your intention?  What is your perception of yourself and what does that make you feel about yourself?
3. Now, imagine stepping into the other person in the movie and experience what it’s like interaction with you?  What is the person’s intention?  What is the person’s perception and what does that make the person feel?
4. Step out of the movie and be an independent observer of the movie.  What observations do you have and what advice do you have for the you in the movie?
5. Step back into the you in the movie, bringing all the observations and advice with you.  What is it like now being with this person?
6. Step into the other person and feel what it’s like to interact with the you now?
7. Step out of the movie and consider what you have learned and how you can apply that learning in future.

Remember the project you were working on – can you use this learning as you continue with your project?

Give thanks for your learning and all that you achieved today.

Therese Hackett, Ciúnas, 086 819 3005

What is motivation?

It is consistent focus over time, determination, effort, devotion, drive, working through challenges, being creative, noticing results and feeling inspired to keep going to achieve the desired outcome.

What motivates us?

We are motivated by our values.  Values are things that are very important to us, e.g. family, career, health, happiness, relaxation, body image, etc.  Values determine how we spend our time and we measure our failure or success against our values.

If losing weight is very important, why do people start and then give up? 

We are motivated by values in 2 ways; towards or away from.  For example, “I am motivated towards being healthy and I can see the many benefits of that, one of which is being slim”; this is a positive commitment that I’m prepared to work towards. Or “I’m motivated away from being/feeling fat, i.e. I want to avoid/stop feeling fat”; negatively focused and generally when we don’t get instant results, the bad feeling persists and we give up.  Notice how different those two statements feel?

I’ve heard people say “fat people have no motivation” – NOT TRUE.  It takes a lot of effort and devotion to get fat – two ingredients of motivation!  When we give up the diet, we’re still motivated; e.g. “I’ve had a bad day, I need a treat to relieve the stress” – relief becomes more important, etc.

What do you use food for? 

If we just used food for nourishment, then we’d know when we had enough.  Many of us, however, use food for other values, i.e. comfort, relief, reward, relaxation, love.  If you are someone who uses food for comfort and you’ve had a very bad day, what do you do?  How do you treat yourself then?
If you were compassionate to you, an alternative could be to engage with your “bad day feeling” to understand what happened to upset you and identify
how you could manage that “situation” in the future, and start the diet again tomorrow.

Solution Suggestions?

1. Identify what for you; is the opposite of being fat/overweight?  How might it feel if you were that?  How would your life change? Would you enjoy the changes?  Is there a part of you that feels safer as you are?  If necessary change the outcome to something you would be happy with.
2. Identify how you use food. If you use it for emotional support, then think about how you could honour that need in a different way.  Everyone      deserves love, appreciation and acceptance but it starts with you doing it for yourself.
3. From the above answers, identify your objective.  Ensure your desire is to “achieve” something realistic, that you can commit to and devote your efforts to deliver.

Go for it, you are worth the effort!  And Good Luck!

Let me know how you get on.

Therese Hackett, Ciúnas, 086 819 3005

Topics:   Grief, Gift ideas, Get Grateful, Get in the Present, Get Compassion, Get Happy.

Christmas is a time of extremes – extreme excitement and celebration or extreme sadness and disappointment.  We are reminded of those who aren’t with us anymore or we are disappointed because we feel sad or can’t afford all the things we think we need to make Christmas great.

I’ve realised; that enjoying this time isn’t about buying or receiving presents and having loads to eat and drink, the joy of Christmas comes from within.  May apologies if that sounds like a cliché – what do I mean?

When I miss family members who left this world too early for me to accept, instead of focusing on the “why” and “if only” and “it’s not fair” and “why is God so harsh”, I remember the person and the fun times, the things I learnt from them, their laughs, their achievements, how they inspired me in my life and I thank them for those gifts.  Spiritually I believe that it was their time to leave and they were done here.  They are happier now and at peace.  I know they help me still.  I don’t think God is harsh to take them from me, I believe that their souls journey was done and my job is to let them go to experience what is theirs to experience.

When I fret about not having lots of presents for those I love, instead of getting angry or disappointed, I think, what could l create?  Time is a gift.  We rush around a lot doing …… I don’t know what……. but I really like the idea of pledging a day to someone, so for that time, I’ll do whatever they want me to do that day.

I bake spelt bread so could I bake a cake for someone?  These are just examples but for me, giving my time or making my cake requires more effort than to buy something. Everyone has time and is creative so what could you make?

What have I to be thankful for – I’m not financially rich but I have so much……..  I’m loved, I have talents (sometimes I forget that) I’m warm, I have food, I’m healthy and so are my family and the list goes on  ………………  Maybe you have a list too…………….

Have you noticed that when you worry you’re worrying in “future tense”, so you’re imagining a bad thing that hasn’t happened but you respond as if it has!  What’s happening right now?  What have you right now?  What can you do right now?  Now is all we have!

I know people are depressed and feeling very low.  In my experience of working with depressed people, it seems to me that while they are high achievers, there is an aspect of themselves that they hate.  Something happened in their youth that they blame themselves for (usually unfairly) and as life goes on, when something they don’t like happens – they “top up” that hate.  They treat this aspect of themselves like a dirty old handbag or rucksack that they can’t get rid off and that makes them hate themselves even more.  Nothing heals hate only love (sorry again, for the cliché).  What do I mean?

When your child does something wrong, you don’t hate them for it, you explain what’s wrong with it, you try to encourage them to change, you still love them. Why do you not judge other people’s mistakes like you judge your own?  Why are you kind to others and not to yourself?  Why couldn’t you love your “old handbag/rucksack” in the same way?  Why do we have more compassion for others than for ourselves?  Where does our tolerance go?  I hear people say “I’m so mad with myself”.  Trust me, that heals nothing!  Understanding, tolerance and compassion are the cure.  Every aspect of ourselves serves a purpose, hating that aspect will stop us ever knowing what that aspect has to teach us.  You are not alone.  Remember if you don’t love you, someone else does- notice that!  How does that person love you?  What do they see that you can’t and even refuse to see?  Could you try having COMPASSION FOR YOU THIS CHRISTMAS?

Have a wonderful Christmas, may it be joyful and peaceful.  I hope 2012 brings you and yours; health, happiness and abundance.

Therese Hackett

“A miracle to one person is an expectation to another” – this quote came to me one day when I was texting someone – what do I mean?

People manifest their desires because they expect their desires to happen.  They realise they are the power in their own lives.  When we expect our desires, we keep the faith, we figure out what we need to do to assist the manifestation – we get creative!  We know it’s just a matter of time before we get our desires.

Ciúnas – 10^th Anniversary on 1^st March 2010

What a 10 years it’s been – a business plan was written back then but Ciúnas took on a life of its own through the people I met and the experiences I had.  I know now that life is meant to be fun and along the way we have much learning to do in order to create that fun.

Because of our past negative or painful experiences we made some very bizarre decisions about what we believe we can and can’t do.  Pain often makes us feel powerless and then we start believing that’s who we are.  When something happens, there’s the event, our perception of it and our response to it.  We can’t change the event but we can definitely control our perception and response to it.  Unfortunately sometimes we adopt the perception and response of those who influence us, as opposed to determining our own perception and response.  This is where the “rot of powerlessness can set in”.  After a while the “rot” seems the “norm” and we begin to believe that’s how we are, but is it our truth?  Much of our emotional development is complete by the time we’re 7 years old – that development can be wonderful or not, depending on who or what influenced our decisions about ourselves.

We don’t always realize how powerful we are so to create our dreams we have to challenge some of those “dodgy” beliefs we adopted.  Over the past 10 years, I’ve had to “delete” a few “lies” that I thought were true and what a relief to discover, I’m much more than what I first believed.

When I decided to create Ciúnas, I wanted to have a business that allowed me to do what I love, generated a comfortable income, that I could do anywhere in the world.  I’m still in the process of refining those goals.  I love what I do, and love what doing what I do teaches me about myself and life.  The income is sometimes “comfortable” and sometimes not, a bit more learning about creating abundance is required but oh I can see the progress!  The more I realize my own power, the more I generate “comfortable” income.  I have, however, generated much abundance that isn’t just money.  As regards to working anywhere in the world, if starting in Dublin and moving to Carrick-on-Shannon counts, then I’m “moving”.  One thing I do know is that change is constant – we can’t stand still so embrace change.

I’m very grateful to all the support I’d had over the years – the faith people put in me when I hadn’t as much faith – I so appreciate that.  Why is it that we see power in other people before we can see and appreciate it in ourselves?  People often credit me with “changing their lives” and yes I had input but I can only work with the “material” I’m given.  As the saying goes “you can take the horse to water, but you can’t make it drink”.

Over these 10 years, I’ve acquired a huge respect for people and their amazing spirits.  People have this huge capacity to survive, what often sounds “un-survivable”.  Despite the most awful pain, people keep going and don’t give up – they just know instinctively that life can get better and when they discover that if they change their attitude, then they attract “better” – that’s the miracle of the human spirit.  I love meeting those “spirits”.

So where to now – more of everything thank you……… more fun, more learning, more abundance, more spirit and more power!

People often ask me how to fight negativity – there’s a lot of it around!

• Stop listening to the “external” negativity and making it your own
• Do an internal stock-take of your abilities and talents
• Appreciate those abilities and talents and notice when you use them and their impact on people and situations
• Give thanks all the time for all the great things in your life (and if your now saying, “there’s no great things” – Look harder!)
• Start to notice the gifts you receive on a daily basis – it could be a friendly smile, a car stopping to let you cross the road, a compliment or someone makes you laugh…………..  These are the simple gifts that we can forget the notice.

Do these things for a while and I guarantee your focus of attention will become more positive and life will get better incrementally. You’ll become more open to seeing your opportunities.

Here’s something I’ve learned and sometimes forgot and had to relearn about manifesting desires and dreams:

• Set your intention positively
• Put it “out there” to the Universe
• Don’t absorb the fears/concerns of others – what is your truth, what is right for you?
• Clear your own fears and doubts about your ability to deliver your desire
• Clear any fear you may have about receiving your desire
• Ensure you 100% believe you deserve your desire and that it fits with your sense of yourself
• Demonstrate your faith in your desire
• Identify and do all the actions you can to deliver the desire, and in doing so, allow your creativity to flourish without judgment.
• Trust your intuition – if it feels right in your gut, then it is right.
• Relax and allow the Universe to do it’s “bit”
• Keep the faith
• Keep your eyes open – opportunities can present themselves in very unusual ways
• Receive graciously and be grateful
• Give joyful thanks all the time.

Have fun and here’s to another wonderful 10 years of Ciúnas.

What is your relationship with food?

We all love food but some of us over-indulge while others seem to know how to stop!  Can eating be fun, yet balanced so that we can have the body we want?  Is food a battleground, a comfort, a demonstration of love, a boredom “avoider”, or is it enjoyable sustenance for the body?

Our relationship with food is forged at a very young age and food has so many associations for us – just think for a moment of the smell of freshly baked bread – it can transport many of us back to our mother’s kitchen, happily covered in flour waiting to lick the bowl.  The ideal relationship with food is to use it as fuel for the body, knowing when we have enough, and enjoy it.  We don’t pore extra petrol into our cars when the tank is full so why do we do that to our bodies?

If you notice that you are eating food because you are bored or want support and comfort, what can you do?

• For boredom, think about what you enjoy that doesn’t involve food.  Explore other options and try new things.  Could you join a club, take up a sport or join a night-class, go for a walk with a friend, even calling a friend is enough to distract us from thoughts of food.

• Sometimes changes in our lifestyles can trigger an increase in our eating habits.  Perhaps there are more demands on you time and you don’t have time for yourself so food becomes a substitute way of caring for yourself.  Think about other ways to care for you?

• “Food is always reliable, it doesn’t let us down or criticize or take us for granted”.  It’s only a short-term solution though.  When we overeat, we tend to be unhappy and critical of ourselves, why would you believe you deserve such criticism and abuse?  Look at what is great about you, what is special about you and appreciate yourself and all you do.

• How often have you eaten rather than spoke up for yourself?  What stops you speak your truth.  Your truth is as valid as anyone else’s.  Honest expression is vital for our emotional wellbeing.  When we care enough about ourselves to stand up for ourselves, then we really are on the road to self-empowerment.

There were some basic elements of Irish society that have really affected our relationship with food:

• “Clean your plate”, “don’t waste that good food and all the people that are starving in the world”.   I was 25 before I realised eating food that I didn’t want meant I was using my body as a dustbin!

• Life was a struggle for people who had to support large families and often they were too busy to spend “quality time” with children.  How many of our parents proudly stated “we hadn’t much but there was always food on the table” which of course you ate and didn’t dare leave on the plate.  Food was a demonstration of love and the more food, the move love.  Find another way to show love.

• “There’s a good child, clean plate, well done”.  Everyone wants approval and praise and sometimes mealtimes were the only time we got any approval so naturally it’s easy to see how many of us ate more food just to hear those words.

We all enjoy eating out, it’s sociable, it’s a treat but do we really need 3 or 4 courses?  Do you actually taste the food or are you too busy talking?

So how can you increase your enjoyment of the “eating out” experience?

• When you’re choosing from the menu, do you see the dishes in your mind or taste them or enjoy the sound of the ingredients or do you remember how you felt when you last had a similar dish?  Each of us has a strategy and once you know your strategy, then even choosing from the menu can add to the overall experience.

• When the food arrives, enjoy the look of it and smell the aroma.

• Eat slowly; perhaps put the knife and fork down when you are talking. When you’re eating, concentrate on the food and when you are talking concentrate on that – it will be more fun when you do one thing at a time.

• Take small mouthfuls and chew your food so that you actually taste it.

• When you eat slowly, you give your body time to digest the food and become aware when you are full.  When we eat too fast, we don’t tend to realise how full we are until all the food is eaten.  I don’t know anyone who enjoys that really stuffed feeling.

• Enjoy your wine, it has its own taste and aroma which is best enjoyed separately and not used to “wash down” food.  So fully chew and swallow your food before drinking, that way you can enjoy your drink as well.

• Remember you are an adult now, you won’t get told off for not cleaning your plate and you won’t get praise for eating everything either!

The best time to eat is when you are beginning to get hungry rather than when you are starving.  When we are too hungry, we tend to eat fast, not enjoy it fully or realise when we are full.

If you are considering embarking on a weight loss program, consider what you want to achieve?  It’s important to have positive goals to work towards.

What is a positive goal and how do you establish your goal?

• If you want to loose weight, ask yourself “if you achieve your goal, what will that do for you”? And the answer might be, “I’ll be more confident, or I’ll be healthier, or I’ll look great in my clothes”.  Ensure your goal is stated positively.
• Write your goal down and put it on the fridge door to remind you.  It’s much easier to work towards a goal to be confident or healthier rather than I want to loose weight, which tends to mean dieting, monitoring what you eat and denying yourself.
• How will you know you have achieved your goal?
• What will you be seeing when you have achieved your goal?
• What will you be hearing when you have achieved your goal?
• What will you be feeling when you have achieved your goal?
• What do you get out of your present eating behaviour that you wish to keep?  It’s important to remember our eating behaviour, even when we’re not happy about it, has a positive benefit for us, e.g. over-eating to provide comfort.
• What do you need to do to help you achieve your goal, e.g. do you know how to eat healthily.  How will you maintain your motivation?
• What emotions trigger over-eating?  Sometimes we need professional help to clear negative emotions.  I’ve seen clients struggle for ages to lose weight with no success but once they cleared the hurt of negative emotion, then the act of losing weight became easy.
• Remember to praise your success!  Every single positive step – appreciate your achievements.

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