Christmas Survival Tips

Author: admin, December 16, 2011

Topics:   Grief, Gift ideas, Get Grateful, Get in the Present, Get Compassion, Get Happy.

Christmas is a time of extremes – extreme excitement and celebration or extreme sadness and disappointment.  We are reminded of those who aren’t with us anymore or we are disappointed because we feel sad or can’t afford all the things we think we need to make Christmas great.

I’ve realised; that enjoying this time isn’t about buying or receiving presents and having loads to eat and drink, the joy of Christmas comes from within.  May apologies if that sounds like a cliché – what do I mean?

When I miss family members who left this world too early for me to accept, instead of focusing on the “why” and “if only” and “it’s not fair” and “why is God so harsh”, I remember the person and the fun times, the things I learnt from them, their laughs, their achievements, how they inspired me in my life and I thank them for those gifts.  Spiritually I believe that it was their time to leave and they were done here.  They are happier now and at peace.  I know they help me still.  I don’t think God is harsh to take them from me, I believe that their souls journey was done and my job is to let them go to experience what is theirs to experience.

When I fret about not having lots of presents for those I love, instead of getting angry or disappointed, I think, what could l create?  Time is a gift.  We rush around a lot doing …… I don’t know what……. but I really like the idea of pledging a day to someone, so for that time, I’ll do whatever they want me to do that day.

I bake spelt bread so could I bake a cake for someone?  These are just examples but for me, giving my time or making my cake requires more effort than to buy something. Everyone has time and is creative so what could you make?

What have I to be thankful for – I’m not financially rich but I have so much……..  I’m loved, I have talents (sometimes I forget that) I’m warm, I have food, I’m healthy and so are my family and the list goes on  ………………  Maybe you have a list too…………….

Have you noticed that when you worry you’re worrying in “future tense”, so you’re imagining a bad thing that hasn’t happened but you respond as if it has!  What’s happening right now?  What have you right now?  What can you do right now?  Now is all we have!

I know people are depressed and feeling very low.  In my experience of working with depressed people, it seems to me that while they are high achievers, there is an aspect of themselves that they hate.  Something happened in their youth that they blame themselves for (usually unfairly) and as life goes on, when something they don’t like happens – they “top up” that hate.  They treat this aspect of themselves like a dirty old handbag or rucksack that they can’t get rid off and that makes them hate themselves even more.  Nothing heals hate only love (sorry again, for the cliché).  What do I mean?

When your child does something wrong, you don’t hate them for it, you explain what’s wrong with it, you try to encourage them to change, you still love them. Why do you not judge other people’s mistakes like you judge your own?  Why are you kind to others and not to yourself?  Why couldn’t you love your “old handbag/rucksack” in the same way?  Why do we have more compassion for others than for ourselves?  Where does our tolerance go?  I hear people say “I’m so mad with myself”.  Trust me, that heals nothing!  Understanding, tolerance and compassion are the cure.  Every aspect of ourselves serves a purpose, hating that aspect will stop us ever knowing what that aspect has to teach us.  You are not alone.  Remember if you don’t love you, someone else does- notice that!  How does that person love you?  What do they see that you can’t and even refuse to see?  Could you try having COMPASSION FOR YOU THIS CHRISTMAS?

Have a wonderful Christmas, may it be joyful and peaceful.  I hope 2012 brings you and yours; health, happiness and abundance.

Therese Hackett

 

 

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