Compassion VS Control

Author: admin, February 27, 2012

“Walk in your own shoes” today and see what you discover about you?

When you allow the time and patience to get to know you, you’ll discover you’re the most interesting and amazing person you’ll ever meet!

Compassion leads to freedom, understanding and consequently growth and change.

Control, (the result of fear), is following rules or roles and often leads to self-criticism, pressure and anxiety.

If you’re trying to achieve something or change a limiting pattern of behaviour, you’ll have greater success if you approach it will compassion as opposed to control.  The language of control is “have to, must, should”, while the language of compassion is “what, why, how, when”.

I appreciate rules and roles give us a structure:  we know what we’re supposed to do because someone told us or we watched someone else do it, and that can be helpful at the start of a project.  However, if that structure doesn’t work for you but you keep doing it anyway, all you end up with is self-criticism/judgment, failure and resentment.

Try a compassionate approach, use questions to understand:  What is the best way for me to do this project?  Design your own strategy.  Engage with yourself and ask:

  • What am I trying to achieve?
  • What will this do for me?
  • How will I know when I’ve got it?
  • Why is it important to me?
  • What will change?  Is that ok?
  • Am I doing this for me or for someone else?
  • What currently stops me achieving what I want to achieve?
  • Why do what I currently do?
  • What am I avoiding?
  • How is that destructive for me?
  • How do I treat myself?
  • What do I need to learn about myself?
  • Look at the objective again, does it need to change?
  • Observing my behaviour, what can I change?
  • What is the difference that will make the difference?
  • What’s the next step?

Compassion leads to relief and joy.  Applying a compassionate approach, we give ourselves permission to be who we truly are, it allows us to understand ourselves and our motives.

Always be compassionate.  Give thanks for your learning and all that you achieved today.

Thérèse Hackett, Ciúnas, 086 819 3005


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