Tips on: Motivation……… Self Esteem.

Author: admin, January 16, 2012

The Lonely Planet reckons “The Irish lack self-esteem”.  Kieran Behan (22), who was told “you’re never going to walk again let alone do gymnastics” qualified for the Olympics.  Why have I connected these two seemingly unrelated stories?

From my experience, people who lack self-esteem tend to say things like “Why bother”, “What’s the point”, “I can’t”, “I’m not able”, “It won’t work anyway”, “I’ll fail”, “I don’t deserve that”.    They don’t notice their daily successes and expect to fail.  Sometimes lack of self-esteem becomes an excuse for not even trying.

People like Kieran say “I want to”, “I deserve it”, “I’m worth the effort” “I believe I can”, “I can”, “I will”.  They work at their goal consistently and expect to achieve it eventually.  When challenged, they use that as feedback and learn from it.  They notice the daily successes and build on those.

To achieve results or deliver a project, you need Desire, Self-Belief, Focus, Positive Expectation and the “I can and I will Determination”.

How do people develop low self-esteem?  From my experience listening to people’s stories, one of the causes is consistent criticism that they eventually believe.  Note; two people involved, the criticizer and the person who believed it.

The kind of criticism that starts the process tends to be from people who we perceive as in authority and knowledgeable, for example, parents, teachers, managers.  It often starts in childhood but it can happen in adulthood too.

Have you ever said anything, when you’ve been frustrated or stressed, that you didn’t really mean?  How would you feel if the adult or child you said it too  believed it?

Much of the criticism that creates low self-esteem was said in frustration, stress, pressure or impatience.  Don’t let something said on a “bad day”, that you believed, be what stops you creating the life you desire.

Beliefs can be changed.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.   (Eleanor Roosevelt)

 If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing – you are right.   (Henry Ford)

Technique to challenge negative beliefs created as a result of criticism:

Find a quiet place, take a few deep breaths and either with your eyes opened or closed;

  • Imagine watching a movie of your childhood and in particular a time when you were criticized.  Who is the person and what did he/she say?
  • What age were you?  What was happening in your life at the time? What didn’t you understand?  What were you unable to express?
  • What were you trying to do for you?  What decision did you make about yourself?
  • As you watch this movie as an adult now, notice what was happening in that adult’s life at the time?  What was their pressure?  What was he / she trying to do for himself/herself?   How was the young you affecting him/her achieve that?
  • If that younger you was in the room with you now, what would you say to help that younger you?  What would you do?
  • How would that help the younger you in the movie?  What would the younger you now believe about himself/herself?
  • How would that information help you in the present?
  • What have you learned about you?  How can you use that information now to help you achieve your desire?

 Always be compassionate.

Give thanks for your learning and all that you achieved today.

Thérèse Hackett, Ciúnas, 086 819 3005

 

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